Things learned in lockdown – aka things I have learned to do and learned about myself

  1. How to wax my own eyebrows (and yes I still have eyebrows, surprised myself there!)
  2. Going to the nail salon all these years was probably not a good idea – it’s taken 8 weeks and my nails are still a mess, but I can see healthy nail growing (note to self, don’t – just don’t)
  3. Keeping up exercise. My gym, like everyone else’s, shut down. Luckily, I am a runner. So, I’m back to running 6km 3 times/week. Weekends are long bike rides with my partner. We have eBikes. However, I do make sure I turn the e-assist to zero as much as possible. But hells no for the hills, that’s a definite 5 – 7 assist!
  4. I am fortunate to have kept my job and to have a job that easily moved to working from home. I have taken a 20% pay cut and at the moment I am on 3 weeks unpaid leave (whilst still working on a project).
  5. I am one of those persons who is up at 6am for my run, then shower, brekkie and putting on my ‘work clothes’, make-up and doing my hair.
  6. The first few weeks I started getting in the habit of drinking wine nightly. Now there’s nothing wrong with a wine or three. Always good for relaxing and rewinding after a hard day. But I did not want it becoming a ‘thing.’ Plus I don’t need the extra calories. Lockdown is tough enough without that. And a couple of wines and I start looking for things to snack on, usually the unhealthy things.
  7. I generally don’t mind spending a lot of time at home.
  8. Zoom meetings are two things. 1) Endless and often boring. 2) Sometimes a necessary thing for work stuff and just to see and speak with other humans oh and 3) I do love playing with the virtual backgrounds. Yes, I know. That’s 3 not 2, I could correct the initial statement, but I won’t. Because, no reason.
  9. My dog and cat love having me home every day.
  10. I do not miss the daily commute to and from work.
  11. I will find it hard to go back to that routine and I know I will be reluctant.
  12. I am ready to retire (shame I can’t actually afford to retire). We went through a restructure and multiple redundancies last month. I had to lose one of my team and I’d only hired her in January and she was really good at her job. I have no heart or stomach for this type of thing. I know it’s because of Covid-19, However, I have experienced many restructures over the last 10 years or so and I have been on both sides of the redundancy equation. I don’t want to do it anymore. The world of work is too harsh for me. Necessary, but not where I want to be.
  13. I downloaded a cool meditation app and I’ve been trying to do a meditation at least once per day. It’s really good as they have different timed meditations from 5 minutes to 45 minutes. So it’s perfect to find one that suits the time you have to commit.
  14. I’d like to record a meditation – as in I’d like to run a session myself. So I will play around with that idea a bit more.
  15. I wanted to try again to learn to play the flute. Yeah, I managed two days of 15 minutes re-learning just how to squawk out a noise. I guess it needs to become a habit if it is anything at all.
  16. I do not like jigsaw puzzles. Not one little bit and I have absolutely no desire to spend lockdown and isolation with one. Nope.
  17. I have really missed writing blog posts.

musings on dating, ghosting and life journeys

Dating and friendship

Since my second marriage ended some (almost) 10 years ago, I have found myself on and off the dating scene. Sometimes more on and sometimes more off. I regularly talk about dating with my girlfriends in person over a wine or three or online with more distant friends including one of my blogging buddies Maria @adriftinathens

a very good vintage

We all date and meet potential partners in different ways, sometimes online dating, sometimes in real life. We’ve all experienced ghosting and other dating horrors in one form or another. And to be honest, I’ve probably ghosted a few after some desultory messaging that seemed to go nowhere and the effort in making some form of ‘it’s over before it’s begun’ message seems a bit redundant.

Ghosting

I once experienced ghosting after dating someone for 3 or 4 months and then nothing. No contact, no text, no call – nada! Sometimes it’s actually difficult to determine who exactly is the ghoster and who the ghostee. In this case I had sent a reply to a text message and then that was it – no further communication. My girlfriend asked if he had perhaps become seriously ill or worse yet died! But no. His little green light on Messenger was regularly on when he was using his phone – so I’m fairly sure he was still hail and hearty.

ghosting
yeah, nah

However, I was not overly emotionally invested in the relationship and I decided to let it go. I think a few years back I would have been more inclined to follow up with a “why?” But now, nah. As Maria always says to me “if a man wants to see you, he will”. And that is absolutely correct. Anyway, I think I miss his dog more than I miss him.

Life journey and fellow travelers

I have discovered over the years that people join me on my life journey for varied lengths of time. Some have been around for years; some for months; some come and go and others are around only for a little while. I recall earlier this year having the most intense and brilliant conversation with a man (over coffee after a Parkrun). He told me he was married, plus he was from a Parkrun far from my local run. I knew as the conversation beautifully unfolded that this was a really special connection and that one hour was the only time in this life that we would connect. He was in my life journey for the briefest snippet and that’s just how it is sometimes.

This attitude also allows me to let go far more easily than once I could (or could not more to the point). If a relationship ends, regardless of whether it’s me letting go or they drifting apart from me, then it’s done. There may be some residual sadness or longing, but it dissipates and fades away. I can acknowledge what was, appreciate the positives and let go of the negative.

Then move on and see where the next adventure leads me ❤